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Have you ever seen anything so big?

James is 87, the sweetest of patients, one of nature’s gentlemen. Just the other day when I was giving James a sponge bath I stood him up next to the bed so I could wash his privates when he looked down and said, “Have you ever seen anything so big?”

I didn’t know what to tell him. All I could think of was there was this guy down in Florida one time…

But before I could say a word James shook his head and said, “My brother-in-law told me once that these have got to be the biggest damn feet he has ever seen!”

 

Years ago when I was a CNA, I had two ladies that were in the same room,,my assignment that evening was to get them both up and park them in the Hallway (In the sunshine) The first one was a bit more able bodied, but she was almost blind from macular degeneration, I handed her her foley cathater bag, told her it was her purse,,she held on to it like it was GOLD,,, first she says,,”this is a terrible purse, I can’t get the catch open”,,,, I said after getting her seated in the wheelchair ” That’s OK,, I’ll just hang it on your chair…….. I parked her in the hall, gave her some apple juice and went to get the other lady…… Coming down the hall with her,,,my first lady looks up,,,,,chokes and spits out her apple juice and yells,,,”Hey,, Hey,, She Stole MY purse !” I nearly peed in my pants laughing!!!

 

Pain assessment

I was triaging a patient in L&D who I thought to be going into labor. Doing the pain assessment, I asked her, “Is your pain intermittent or constant?”

“What?”

“Does your pain come and go or is it constant?”

“Well, it constantly comes and goes!”

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